How Life Changes When You Become a Parent
My schedule and activities weren’t the only things to change when I became a parent. My perspective did too; and that is what helped me realize how enriching parenting really is.
When I think back to who I was before I became a parent, a few things come to mind: working a variety of jobs, struggling to get by, dating and getting married. Life was a big ball of stress that I wasn’t sure how to untangle or if I was doing it right. When I became a parent, the stress didn’t go away, but my perspective changed.
The birth of my daughter came on a snowy January evening. The labor wasn’t easy and I almost had an emergency c-section due to the umbilical cord being wrapped around her throat multiple times; but what I remember most is spending the night holding her in my arms and staring into her bright blue eyes. She never took her eyes off me. This little bundle was mine to care for, love, protect, and grow forevermore. I realized that everything I was before was what led me to this moment. This moment, this job that I now had as a parent, was the most important thing yet. And though parenthood is a serious responsibility, I saw it as a chance to connect again with the true meaning of life: the beauty and magic, curiosity and fun – to see the world through a child’s eyes again. And that’s what I did.
Being a Parent is an Enriching Experience
You can probably find a parenting book on any subject you want, except one thing: your unique relationship with your child. No one else can write that book but you. And you write it with each day, each moment, each experience with your child. This is your parenting life! Your chance to build an enriching experience for you, your children, and your family. What makes it enriching?
Knowledge
The knowledge that you have gained as a parent has added something to your life that wasn’t there before. Think about it: before you were a parent, all you knew about parenting was from the outside in: your observations of your parents and friends who were parents. You probably read books once you knew you were expecting, and have probably read some more since then.
But when you get down to it, being in the middle of parenting really is where the meat of parenting is. You have been stretched physically and mentally by exhaustion but you have also been unbelievably delighted in the happiest moments of your life. Things you cannot express lie within your heart now. Laughter explodes from your mouth. Undeniable support for your child’s next step is your focus.
The knowledge that you have gained as a parent is more a fulfillment than a textbook study. It is real. To quote The Velveteen Rabbit, “You become.”
Play
The next step in parenting happens almost unexpectedly. You get down on your child’s level, and you play. You try new things, pretend, have fun. Observing a child at play often results in an adult commenting “Don’t you wish it could always be that easy and fun?” before going back to stressing about something in the adult world. But what if you could play in real life? I believe you can.
When I became a parent, I decided to put aside my focus on stress and change my perspective to be more like a child’s. Everything is so new and exciting for a child. They are curious about the world, and that makes everything a possibility. This curiosity is exactly what fuels new ideas, new combinations, innovations. Thinking like a child in play not only brings more fun into your life, it also brings more ideas.
Creativity
From play comes creative thought. What if I did this, then what would happen if I mixed this? Questions, experiments, making, and trying. These are all activities of the creative kid and the creative thinker. As a parent, you are front and center to this natural phenomenon, and you get to take part. Let your kid’s natural creativity rub off on you. See how it affects your adult worldview. See how much more joyful it is to live a life filled with curiosity and fun, wonder and questions. This is the creative mind that we had as children and that we should never have given up. I’m asking you to consider putting this hat back on. Take advantage of the new perspective parenting is giving you, and choose to step into a little wonderland. It’s worth the journey.
Summary
To recap, my parenting journey has been a thrill ride. With its ups and downs, it is the most exciting time of my life as I watch my children grow. I choose not to say “grow up” because I don’t believe in growing up; rather, I believe in nurturing the child within for a lifetime. In this way, our natural vigor for life is sustained and real joy rises up from the roots. I want my children to always think like children, and I am grateful to them for helping bring me back to my childlike ways.
You too can find joy in parenting from a childlike perspective. Take time to learn from experience, play, and create. Your relationship with your children is what you make it. Choose to make it fun, and you will find enrichment. For more ideas on how to create a home that nurtures, check out my post: How to Create a Home that Nurtures.
