How to Create a Home that Nurtures
No family looks just like any other family. We are all unique when it comes to parenting, hobbies, schedules, and activities. But an important aspect for every home is the need for an environment that nurtures. How to create a home that nurtures your kids’ natural creativity and joy is one of the most important questions you can ask as a parent. It is so important that it may be the most essential for finding joy in your family life.
Nurture The Family That You Already Have
Throughout Kid Creator, you will learn that I am a huge proponent for taking care of what you have before getting new things. This can apply to money, material possessions, and relationships, among other things. In terms of the home, I believe that taking care of the people inside the home is the most important part of being a parent. You have the privilege of knowing each person in your family – if you don’t feel like you do, this is a good time to get to know them – and then choosing to create a setting that supports each person. I call this nurturing what you have. So let’s look at some ways you can create a home that nurtures the family that you already have.
Provide for the Necessities
Nurturing a family means to care for them by providing for their needs. We all have basic needs that must be fulfilled in order to survive, let alone grow. This is especially true for children as they are in the most important time of their growing lives.
During this time, they are learning how to trust the people in their lives, primarily their parents or caregivers. Psychologists refer to this importance of secure childhood relationships in the study of Attachment Theory. In order to raise children with a secure attachment, children need to know and trust that their physical and emotional needs are provided for. Not only does this matter for your personal relationship with your children, it sets the stage for the future success of your child’s relationships.
Some ways to provide for the emotional and physical needs of your children:
- Make sure you have healthy food available
- Provide a safe environment with healthy boundaries and limits, as well as freedom to learn without putting anyone in danger.
- Set good bedtimes so that your children (and you) get plenty of sleep
- Take time to connect with each person in your family, maybe by doing an activity together or taking the time to listen to their ideas
- Look each person in the eyes when they speak to you. Put them first in that moment, rather than looking at your phone or multitasking. This lets them know that they are important to you.
- Be consistent with your own emotions and behavior. For instance, when you put your child to bed, show consistent love and patience even if it’s difficult to get your child to sleep. Don’t place blame or switch to anger or frustration. This sends mixed messages to your child and can cause insecure feelings. If bedtime is a problem area, work on creating a consistent routine that helps both you and your child maintain healthy responses.
- Recognize each different personality and support their authenticity.
Encourage Growth
As mentioned above, each person in your family has a unique personality which means they have different likes and dislikes, interests, and desires. Take some time to learn about the members of your family. What brings them joy? What gets them motivated? When you find out, encourage them to continue growing these interests or passions.
Some ideas for encouraging your children’s personalities:
- Observe. Take time just to observe the characteristics and interests of your family members. What hobbies do they already have? Do they like to spend time alone drawing or reading? Are they always asking for a get together with friends? Do they spend a good amount of time decorating their rooms? Maybe rhythm or dance is their thing.
- Say positive words of encouragement or affirmation. An acknowledgment of the new painting they completed or how they arranged their photo album, or their excitement over a new book can go a long way. Rather than saying something generic like “you’re so smart” or “good job”, say something more personal that pinpoints what they specifically did in that moment. For instance “I’m amazed at how many books you have read; you are a really good reader.” “I like the way you put those two things together to make it your own” or “The way you look at things and then draw them is amazing,” or “the way you describe things is really beautiful.”
- Ask your child what they like to do and provide opportunities for them to pursue it. Maybe they don’t know a whole lot about the subject but it seemed like an interesting idea, and they need someone to encourage them to seek it out. For instance, if your child likes plants, offer to take them to the flower nursery and to pick out a couple plants. Ask questions about the plants. Provide a space for them to care for the plants. Offer books or take them to the library.
- Allow them to explore in their own time. Key to encouraging your children and other family members to continue their own personal growth, is to let them do it at their own pace. Your job is just to provide the opportunities and support. Allowing them to make their own choices strengthens their self esteem and understanding of themselves as they grow. This is the whole reason that you encourage creativity: for their growth.
Have Fun
Most importantly, nurturing your family should bring joy; and having fun is one great way to do that! It’s okay to let go and just go with the flow. Life is not just a series of rules or serious thoughts. It is living! And living means moving, dancing, laughing, helping, fumbling, failing, laughing some more, crying, tickling, trying, doing, and loving.
Some ideas for just having fun:
- Turn up the music and grab a dance partner! Start a spontaneous dance party while cooking breakfast or cleaning house.
- Have a game night. You could even offer fun prizes.
- Find a reason to celebrate the little things. There is always a reason to celebrate. Be on the lookout and you’ll find more than you realize.
- Read a book together and change your voice or accent.
- Make up songs to wake the kids in the morning
- Choose a new ingredient to try and learn multiple ways to cook with it. Get the kids involved in tasting and trying it in different entrees, desserts, or drinks.
- Start a new family tradition, even if it only happens once.
- Don’t let your serious thoughts ever get in the way of smiling with your family. Put family first, and those serious thoughts will figure themselves out. In fact, I touch on this in my post How to Find Joy in Parenting when You Feel Overwhelmed.
How to Create a Home that Nurtures: Summary
To nurture is the act of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something. As a parent, that is one of your most important roles in the family. And, it is one of the best opportunities for growing joy in your family! To nurture is to grow in joy and love.
So how to create a home that nurtures and brings joy to your family? Practice these three steps:
- Provide the necessities
- Encourage individual growth
- Have fun
There is no perfect way to raise a family, but there is a joyful way that is beneficial to you and each family member by providing a safe and supportive home environment that nurtures each person. I can’t wait to hear how you do this with your family!
One great way to create a home that nurtures is by spending quality time with your kids. Get creative and fun ideas for spending 1:1 time with your child by downloading your FREE GUIDE to Quality Time right here.
