How to Find Joy in Parenting When You Feel Overwhelmed
Do you struggle to find joy in parenting? How can you find joy in parenting when you feel overwhelmed, as if you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?
Let’s be honest: life is crazy hard right now. Each day brings something unexpected, and as a parent, you feel like you have to know exactly what to do all the time. You understand that it’s your responsibility to screen information and present it safely to your kids. As a result, your family depends on you to be strong, smart, and capable – not to mention, brave. But sometimes, you just feel like crumbling under all that weight and responsibility.
How in this time and age can you find joy in parenting?
How to Find Joy in Parenting: Create a Home Base
You don’t have control over what happens in the world, but you do have a lot of control over what happens in your own home. As a parent, you get to set your own home climate, made by your choices that create the kind of life that you want for your family.
I’m a parent too, so I understand your fears for your children. You want to protect them. At the same time, you see their need to understand what is happening in the world. Whether we like it or not, kids see and hear more things now than ever. They are introduced to world catastrophes, political battles, inhumane acts, environmental concerns, and more from an early age. This is the global world we live in.
Because of this, I want to show you how you can create a home base that feels safe and instills joy without feeling like you are running away or hiding from the world. A home base that offers shelter, connection, and purpose so that you have the strength and joy to keep going as a parent – and succeed – through an ever changing world.
1. Know your core values
Do you know what your core values are for your family? What matters the most to you when you think about what you want your kids to grow up understanding, feeling, and knowing?
For instance, you might consider these questions:
- How do you show love?
- Is it okay to feel and show emotions?
- What kind of relationship do you want with your kids?
- How do you want your kids to remember their childhood?
- What characteristics are celebrated in your family?
- How do you show respect to each other?
- Do you value honesty, even when things are tough and emotions are high?
- Is open communication important?
- Are you true to your word?
- Do you value your children’s ideas?
- Do your children feel safe?
These are just a few things to consider. Your children are relying on you to set the stage for their life and worldview. They are learning how to trust, love, respect, feel, and make their own choices, many of which are based on the examples they are given.
Setting core values as a parent doesn’t have to be difficult, and you don’t have to be perfect! (No one can be perfect!!) Children grow best in a home that values love and offers security. Start with these, and you will be on your way to building positive relationships with your children.
2. Set your intention as a parent
Now that you have considered your core values, can you step back and say that your actions match those values? Too often, we are caught off guard in situations, and our reactions to a circumstance become more common than actually acting out our intentions. If you want your core values to shine through in your actions, it’s necessary to take time now to prepare. Sit down and write your intentions as a parent.
Here are some things to consider:
- Think of circumstances that commonly arise, and write them down. Maybe this includes an argument that you and your kids regularly get into before school. Or an attitude that you know you often have but want to change – are you grumpy after work? Do you expect certain things to be done a certain way?
- Now think of your responses. Are you calm when the kids are arguing or do you yell at them to stop? Do you feel frustrated or disappointed when things aren’t done the way you expected? Are you quick to anger? Write these down.
- This is when you set your intention. You get to choose how you want to respond. How can you solve the problem in a way that coincides with your core values? Write your intentions down.
Taking time to think and write out your intentions as a parent now will save you a lot of stress and worry in the future. Don’t wait until you’re in the moment when you’re overwhelmed and unable to think clearly.
While you can’t be expected to know and write a solution for every circumstance, by setting your intentions, you are choosing what kind of parent you want to be for your kids. This isn’t something to leave up to chance.
3. Enjoy and nurture your home base
Now that you have your core values and your intentions written down, you can fully lean into your family life. Enjoy your family. Nurture your relationship with your kids and your partner. I share more ideas on how to create a home that nurtures here.
However you started this parenting journey, you have entered into something beautiful and special. Anything as important as parenting is going to be difficult at times. But if you live each day worrying about what’s going to happen next, then you miss out on the wonderful surprises of parenting.
Maybe your kids are older and you fear that you missed the opportunity to build a relationship with them. It’s never too late. We all have the capacity to change and to grow. You can only change yourself, and in the process, you help build a foundation of love for your children to build their own relationships on.
Easy ways to lean into your family life:
- Be thankful each day for at least one thing. Write it down so you can look at it again during the hard times.
- Hug your family
- Notice the unique personalities of each child and celebrate them.
- Let it go. Not everything has to be perfect or as you expect.
- Listen. Your children have their own wisdom to share and some pretty creative ideas
- Tell your children you love them.
- Slow down when you feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to take a break from the world and find grounding for yourself and your family before going out into it again.
- Enjoy the little things.
- Talk with your kids, no judging or shame involved. Honest communication with love helps you and your kids work through things.
And just like that! You have created a home base for your family that is safe and instills joy. You can do this!
Summary
To recap, you can find joy in parenting – even when overwhelmed – by setting up a home base that you love. Here are the three steps we discussed:
- Know your Core Values
- Set your Intentions as a Parent
- Enjoy and Nurture your Home Base
There will always be fears knocking at your door, and as a parent, those worries may weigh you down and threaten your ability to find joy in parenting. The question you need to answer is “How am I going to respond?” If you know your core values and have set your intentions for your family life, you can open that door safely in the knowledge that you are prepared, and that no matter what happens, you are choosing to enjoy the life you have been given.
Want More?
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