Is Play Important for Kids’ Development?
Is play important for kids’ development, or should parents spend more time directing their children’s free time toward “better” pursuits? How does play help children’s development and how can parents encourage it more without controlling it?
My kids are ages 8 and 11. They still love to play, but sometimes they aren’t sure what to play. When this happens, they complain that they are bored and basically want me (or a screen) to entertain them. It’s in those times that I wonder where did all the kids go?
I have noticed that kids are a lot less motivated to just play and are more scheduled when it comes to extracurricular activities. Is this what it means to raise successful children: to teach them to focus primarily on responsibilities, schedules, and learning adult skills? Or can kids just being kids serve a purpose too? And if so, what is that purpose?
In this article, we will observe some characteristics of play and consider how play might benefit kids.
What are the benefits of play:
Play can be powerful. Below, we will discuss three characteristics of play: its power to do good, its power to bring self-discovery, and its power to bring balance.
Play and the Power to Do Good:
Ultimately, we want our kids to do good. This is why we teach them lessons, give them experiences, and guide their education. As a parent, you choose your children’s activities with the intention of providing them with the best opportunities to achieve and do something good in the world. We all want that for our kids.
Have you considered how play may also have the power to help our kids do good? When I read in Karen Walrond’s book The Lightmaker’s Manifesto that play could “give birth to the creativity and innovation that we need for our advocacy…” that it is “possible that play not only sustains activism but might even precede it”, I thought wow, this is powerful.
Walrond goes on to quote her friend Jeff Harry, a positive psychology coach and play evangelist. He explains that play is “as important as love, sleeping, eating, and breathing.” Just as each of those are necessary for a happy, healthy life, so is play; in addition, each contributes to “creating a space where you feel safe enough to take a risk and try something that has never been tried before.”
I understand this to say that play contributes to creating that space where you feel safe enough to take a risk or try something new. And we all know that it’s in those risks and new ideas that amazing things can happen. This is what being creative is all about.
Whether it’s putting forth a new scientific discovery, inventing a world changing tech, or stepping out of our comfort zones to help someone in need, doing something different requires having had the opportunity to use one’s imagination, think outside the box, and be creative. Your kids do all of this when they are playing.
So what is the process for this? How do children go from play to doing good and helping others?
Play and the Power of Self Discovery:
Stuart Brown, M.D. states in his book Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul that “The self that emerges through play is the core, authentic self.”
Let me say that again: when your kids play, their authentic selves are becoming. What is an authentic self? Brené Brown defines authenticity as “the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” According to Stuart Brown, this happens during play.
As your kids tell a story or make believe, sing, dance, draw, play games, or hang out with their friends, they are working through their own beliefs about themselves and their world. What they have observed is now being cross analyzed by their subconscious and resulting in a kind of self discovery. That is, they are learning about themselves and being present with who they are.
The self discovery process for a kid is super important. It takes time and understanding. Play can be a safe space for kids to figure things out without feeling judged. It can be a joyful place where they can express themselves freely.
“Authentic play comes from deep down inside us. It’s not formed or motivated solely by others. Real play interacts with and involves the outside world, but it fundamentally expresses the needs and desires of the player.” (Stuart Brown)
So what does self discovery have to do with doing good? Once a person is comfortable with his or her identity (the authentic self), they feel more confident in their ability to do good.
“A play mindset can show up whether you’re the first one willing to look silly on the dance floor or the first one to step up against injustice – both are about being boldly present.” (Jeff Harry in his interview with Karen Walrond The Lightmaker’s Manifesto)
Play and the Power of Balance:
In addition, the act of playing can lead to balance. Brown goes on to explain that the power of play is that it combines the physiological, emotional, and cognitive capacities that are necessary for growing and transforming through childhood. As children play, they start to figure things out on their own, balancing out their needs and desires. As he says “Play can allow us to find a balanced course.” (Stuart Brown)
What exactly is a balanced course? Brown describes this as a “third way”: one that “arises naturally from within”. This might occur when your kid feels pulled by various influences around him, unsure what to do. His heart feels one thing, and his head another. Through play, those ideas can be worked out and eventually harmonize into his own beliefs and ideas. Finding balance, he begins to grow and create his own story.
Summary and How to Encourage Play:
So is play important for kids’ development? My research seems to think so, and I would agree. This post is just a small study of the power of play. I have a lot more to learn. However, just knowing even a few of the impacts that play can have on my children charges me to encourage play even more.
To summarize, the three powers of play discussed in this post are:
- The Power to do Good
- The Power of Self Discovery
- The Power of Balance
These three characteristics of play are each powerful on their own toward helping our kids develop into successful, joyful adults. When accessed through play, they support our kids natural development and authenticity.
I hope that you will consider encouraging more free play in your children’s lives. It’s okay to give them ideas. When my kids are out of ideas and reaching for the screens, I gently remind them of all the books, toys, music, and materials that they have for creative discovery and fun. Then I step back and let my kids explore their own ideas in play.
Throughout childhood, kids are learning who they are, what they need or want, and what to do with all this information. Yes, we can help guide them through this process. However, perhaps we can trust the process of childhood just a bit more, and give our children the opportunity to naturally form into the amazing people we know they are and can be by not organizing every activity but giving them the freedom to just have fun.
One More Thing:
You may notice the connection here between creativity and play. The reason I teach the importance of creativity is because I believe that it has the power to produce good. Here at the Kid Creator, my intention is to help parents connect with their kids through creativity – which means that you are building a relationship with your child in a home that supports, grows, and nurtures creative exploration.
This includes allowing and encouraging open communication, discussions, problem solving, empathy, compassion, understanding, respect, honesty, and so much more. When you create a safe space like this for a child to grow and form into his own authentic self, you are bringing good into the world. You are telling your child and the world that he is amazing just the way he is, and that as he grows and comes more into his own, he can do good by acting on his creative thinking and abilities.
This is the whole idea behind the Kid Creator program:
- Create a home base that nurtures
- Encourage and promote creative exploration
- Share your creative abilities by helping others
Encouraging free play in your kid’s life is one way that you can provide this kind of home. In turn, you will make a huge impact on your child’s life, and he will make a huge impact on the world. And that’s the power of the creative connection.
Interested in joining the Kid Creator Program waitlist? Click here to be added to the email list. I will let you know when the program is open and what you can do to join.
